فاطمة هي زوجة حميد , حميد و فاطمة قد قاربوا على إمضاء قرن كامل على سطح الكرة الأرضية , هما شخصيات بسيطة غير متكلفة , عجائز و فقراء ليسو بأغنياء “فلوسيا ً” ولكن أثرياء بغذاء الروح والقلب “الحب” , فهما متحابان رغم مرور تلك السنين على زواجهم , ما زالت فاطمة تنادي على حميد “حبيبي” بنكهة اللهجة الجيزانية , وما زال حميد يقبل فاطمة على الفم ليداعب كراميش وجهها بكراميشه

كل هذه الاستنتاجات والتفاصيل أعلاه جرت بعد التنصت المستمر على مدار يومين حتى الأن , فاطمة هي الـ “الروميت” الخاص بوالدتي في المستشفى , فهما يتشاركان نفس الغرفة ويحجب بينهما ستار بسيط , فاطمة ترقد الأن وهي بلا قدمين فقد تم بترهما بالأمس القريب , وحميد لم يفقد قط مشاعر الحب والعطاء لها وما زال بقربها كالقرين , ما زالا يتبادلان النكت ويضحكان بلا أسنان , هي نكت صعبة الفهم بالنسبة لي لجهلي بأسرار اللهجة وقلت خبرتي في عالم التنصت , ولكن هناك موسيقى رومانسية كالتي تظهر في الخلفية الصوتية من أحد الافلام المصرية القديمة , موسيقى على شموع خافتة في هذا المشهد الرومنسي المكرمش الأكثر من رائع

خالد جوهرجي 2010م

تحكي إلي قصتها

عن يوم ٍ يدعى ” شوفتها “

تحكي بصوتٍ رنانا ً

والبسمة ترسم فرحتها

قد جاءها فارسً مغوارا ً

أتاها على صهوة الفرسا

قد جاءها مطرقا ُ بابا ًً

ينوي زواجا ً بمن غدرا

قد زانها ما يميزه ُ

عن غيره من البشرا

قد زانها أنه رجلا ً

يهوى بمن قد أقترنا

يهوى ويعشق نبرتها

يغوص وفي الحب قد غرقا

دقت جارسين أبوابا ً

وكأن في قلبها الجرسا

طارت من الفرحة حبيبتنا

تجري وترقص على الدرجا

دقت فتاهت أنفاسي

ياربي من أين لي الفرجا

جاء الخطيب ليرمقها

بنظرة قد حلها الشرعا

دخلتُ في داري لأغلقها

والقلب كأنه أختنقا

كأنه لم يعد قلبي

وهبته لمن دعاه لينتحرا

يزمجر القلب مكتئبا ً

ياويلتي : فما هو العملا

أولم أكن يوما ً من أيامي

أخوض في بحاركِ الزٌرقا

أولم أحبك يا سيدتي

أولم أؤدي القسما ؟

أولم أكن من تخلده

نصوص حبك الكثرا

أم كانت تلك رسائلك ٍ

تحكي عن حب ٍ قد أندثرا

تقول لي أنت عنواني !

لكتابا ً كثُرة به الصٌحفا

هل قصتي هي غلافا ً

ومحتواه لصاحب الجرسا ؟

I think “love” is when you answer the same question your son ask +30 times in row with a smile on your face. Adnan my almost 3 years old son asked me “Ish da?” (what is this?) pointing toward a yellow flower we saw in a Japaneses garden in our trip to Malaysia this year March 2016, I answered him in Arabic 15 times (Warda) and in English (Flower) as i usually do to increase his chances in learning two languages faster when he grow up.

Every time he asks me I feel happy. I look him in the eyes and stop for a moment, answering his question with different tones. sometimes with an exciting tone and sometimes with a doll one. looking at him while he is processing my response, amused with the view. His curiosity spins between his eyes and lips.

I never thought I would be this patient, but apparently fatherhood grant you super powers which makes you a superhero in your kids eyes when they get in trouble. I still run to my dad when I get stuck and need guidance and even if I did not follow his advice, It feels safe to hear his thoughts and ideas regarding it

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it makes me proud that my son ask questions and turn his head toward me waiting for an answer, knowing that he does not feel bad asking me makes me feel i’m doing the right thing, knowing that he is processing the response and he needs me to repeat it makes me sure he has a determined personality which will serve him when i’m not around.

The time I spent answering his questions pay back when he suddenly use “flowers” in the middle of an innocent sentence, he might not get it right the first time but there is a cell in his brain stored this piece of information and my next project is to connect the dots until he can express his thoughts.

Yes Fatherhood is a long trip with no return ticket, once you go this road  there is no coming back, you will always carry their happiness and sad moments with you for the rest of your life, it’s like you have another piece of yourself detached, running all over the place doing all sort of stuff that you have to embrace

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if you haven’t experienced fatherhood yet on purpose (delaying marriage, or delaying having kids). you are missing on something special. This is a bond that you cannot replicate even with your soulmate.

If you have kids and busy with something else (making money, expanding your business, getting a better job) then you should always take a moment and step back, look around and evaluate what’s important. I took this step during this vacation where i spent quality time with family disconnecting myself from everything else kept me busy the whole year

Your dad and mom did answer your simple questions when you were young, I even believe they still do. Do not neglect the fact that they gone through the same experience, raising you to be the person you are today. if they are still alive then always say what you feel toward them, in your family what’s app group or in person, hug your mom when you go for a visit, she needs it. talk to your sister more often she needs someone to listen, advice your youngest brother and say Hi to your older brother.

Your family, parents and siblings are more important than everything else. they don’t want anything from you beside yourself. It sounds cliche but sometimes I forget and I need a reminder. and this is a letter for the future me to remind me if I forget again.

Thank god for the blessing of having kids and a family. If you are tying to have this gift then I truly hope that god grant your wish and once you receive it, be patient and grateful, it’s not a burden, it’s something you need to have to feel complete.

1/4/2016

 

 

July 31, 2010 at 9:23am

دفنتك أنا وأصدقائك وأهلك , وتركناك في قبرك وحدك بعد أن أحترق جسدك شهيدا حتى الموت , كنت في سيارتك تقضي حاجتك لمشوار لم تعي وقتها بأنه فاجعتك , هل يا ترى حاولت الفرار من مكانك ؟ أم كان لهيب النار أسرع من تحركاتك , أعرفك جيدا فكنت دائما تفكر كثيرا قبل أن تتصرف , تسأل كل من حولك وتستشيرهم في ابسط تحركاتك , هل يا ترى كان ذلك سبباً في وفاتك ؟

هل كنت تسمع دعائي الصامت وأنا أمكث الرمل على جثمانك ؟ هل كنت فعلا تسمع خطوات أقدامي وهي مبتعدة عنك ؟ هل كنت تسمع دعائنا وترى دموعنا ونحن نرحل بدونك ؟ أم هل غضبت وعضضت على يديك كما تفعل دائما منذ أن عرفناك ؟ هل يا ترى تكرهنا ونحن نمضي في مشوار حياتنا غافلين عن حقيقة وفاتك ؟

مضت سنين ومن حين إلى حين ونحن أصدقائك في خضم ضحكنا ولعبنا وابتساماتنا أتذكرك , واشعر بالغثيان لأنني لا أدعو لك بدلا من أن أضحك مع أصدقائك , صديقي لا تغضب لأني لم أبكي في يوم دفنك وتكفين جثمانك , فلم استوعب أنك رحلت إلا بعد أن تحللت رفاتك , أيقنت أنك رحلت من دون أن أودعك , وأيقنت أننا تشاجرنا واختلفنا قبل وفاتك بأيام , تذكرت أخر اتصالاتك , راجعت سجل المكالمات وقتها لأرى أسمك ورقمك , استوعبت أنني لن أستطيع مهاتفتك لأتسامح معك , لم يعد لرقمك وشريحتك وجوالك أي معنى الان , ولكن لا زلت أنقل بياناتك كلما تغير جهازي لأبقي شيء به أتذكرك , الله يرحمك ويغفر لك ذنبك , ويجعل الجنة وحدها هي مسكنك

محمد .. سبقتنا ونحن إليك حتماً لاحقون

Jeddah is the second largest city after the capital Riyadh. The city located in the west coast of Saudi Arabia, it’s considered to be the commercial port and the entrance for Hojaj who performs pilgrims every year from all over the world. Jeddah is a modern city with open minded community. Most of those who live in Jeddah are from different countries that came to Saudi Arabia for business or Haj and then decided to settle down in Jeddah before it became part of the kingdom; once it became a part of Saudi Arabia the people who lived there gained the Saudi citizenship in the process.

In 2009 Jeddah experienced its first crise s with floods, resulting into huge loses in buildings and cars and most importantly 123 deaths in only few hours of constant rain. Some parts of the city could not handle it because the sewage system was not built yet.

The picture above is taken after the disaster. The roads here are used to be a high way containing 10 lines, 5 for each direction. Most of the deaths and damages were in that area and the area beyond it where the poor people lived.

In this article (Sewage scandal story can ‘shake Saudi’)  the writer explain the reasons behind this crises. The problems of floods were facing Jeddah since 1980 but it was never as harsh as in

2009.

Originally the municipality of Jeddah city blamed the huge amount of rain! After the floods the government of Saudi Arabia built an agency called “Anti-corruption Agency” to fight corruption and build the ethical standers in the community. The agency issued a report about the ongoing efforts to develop the sewage system, it shows that the government has spent 1 Billion dollar to solve this issue but the agency judged that the contractor delayed the project which was supposed to end in 2008 and they are the one to be blamed.

There are two issues here which are: if the contractor delayed a project, there is a sum of fines should be applied, also the delay itself should come from governmental authorities which is the “municipality of Jeddah city” a governmental sector who is supposed to appl penalties and reject the delay request. But what happened is that the contractor gained a delay acceptance and the fines were waived as well.

The anti-corruption agency started an investigation against the officials who approved the request and waived the penalties. A total number of 99 people are still in the investigation process and court.

In order for something like this to happen, 99 people who were in charge of this project made an unethical decisions. Most likely because of “money temptation” since the investigations resulted in finding huge sum of money in some of the off-shore accounts of some of the officials. Others who were in the lower ladder hidden their money in their Saudi bank accounts, and others hidden their money in their own houses buried in their backyard after the floods accrued.

This example of unethical choices leaded to the death of 123 people, it also led to damages in houses and cars worth millions of dollars. Roads and bridges were vanished. I believe the engineers who were aware of these violations and accepted it are the most unethical people between all the others. Since they are aware of how dangerous such thing may lead. Yet they approved it for their personal gain.

Others might never imagine this day to come and result in that much of loses. Yet they did what they have done and most likely they well never live their life feeling normal about the event.

The same issue appeared on the surface again in Jeddah, and Riyadh, but luckily the damages in human lives were fewer than the crises in Jeddah 2009.

I believe this unethical scheme is built around an unethical environment which includes high rank officials, companies, government employees, and also citizens. unless the environment had more restricted law against everyone from top to bottom in an equal manner, we will continue to see this happening and more crises to be prepared for.